There are no excuses.

I’m not even going to make up an excuse, because I don’t have one.
Welcome to my life. I put everything off for as long as I can. Is there a cure? Maybe. Am I going to figure out what that is? Probably not. Just being honest.

Here’s a wonderful thing I’ve discovered, however. I am going to start a real, legit blog!  I know you’re probably reading this thinking “you can’t even keep up with your FREE blog and now you’re going to get a LEGIT blog. You crazy!”
I am, in fact, crazy.

I want to write. I grew up writing all the time. I wrote poems, song lyrics for friends, short stories…and I loved it. I loved it so much I decided to go to school for Professional Writing. A part of me died those 4 years – sad, but true. A lot happened over those 4 years. So many things changed and I had opportunities I was too afraid to take. Those years should have been some of the best in my life, but I barely remember them at all.

I need to get back into writing. It’s hard and I’m scared.
I’m going to let you in on a little secret that not many people know about me, but if they took the time could probably figure it out really easily – I’M SCARED OF EVERYTHING!
Life, in general, scares the crap out of me. What if I make a mistake? What if I only have one chance and I blow it? What if I say this but really should have said this other thing instead? What if I move away but then end up going broke? What if I don’t get married and never have kids and I’m alone forever? What if I get married and have kids and I hate my life? AHHHHHH!!! Make it stop. Seriously. I’m not making any decisions or taking any chances. Ever.

Rest assured, this is something I’m actively working on. I’m trying as much as my will allows me to stop laying down and playing dead when I get scared about life’s decisions. Don’t ask me to decide where we’re going on our first date or what color I want to dye my hair – seriously – it freaks me out to decide things. I don’t want to get it “wrong”. I find it very important to put the word “wrong” in quotations like that because, honestly, who the hell decides what’s right and wrong? if I make a decision that doesn’t turn out that great then guess what? I’m not going to die. It’s not going to ruin my life. I simply won’t allow it.

All of that rambling just to say this – I’m starting a legit blog because I love writing and I want to do it for the rest of my life and I hate having a job where I don’t get to do that so I need to start branching out and not being a coward and actually doing things that will better my life and make me happy and not worrying about the possible negative outcomes. BAM.

Once a get the other blog started I will put the link here for any of you that are interested in still reading my stuff (yes, I will actually post stuff!!!!!).

Breathe in. Exhale. Repeat.

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1st post – drum roll please ….

Day #1 of my blogging adventure begins.
Actually, if we’re being technical, Day #1 would have been when I signed up – which was a random thought at 1 am. Nevertheless, this is DAY #1

I feel like it’s important to say, no matter what posts after this say – I am happy. I am very happy actually. I am a 26 year old, happy, somewhat successful, have no real plan for the future, girl. Yippee!! I deserve to give myself a big pat on the back for who I am today. I have recovered from hitting rock bottom. I am very grateful for everything in my life and everyone that surrounds me.

With that being said … I still have my moments. I still get scared my life is never going to start in the direction I want it to. Big deal. It happens to the best of us. I just gotta keep on going. Yippee again!

Over the past few months so many things have been changing for me – I met an amazing guy that makes my heart melt, got a new job that could very well turn into a career (and started to be an independent consultant on the side), I mended an old friendship, moved twice & planning another move in three weeks … I’ve been busy.

This is a start of a wonderful thing. I can feel it! =)